How is it that the human race has lived so long through the history of cinema without this? Oh, sure, in the golden era of cinema they would show 30-minute serials and news reels with plenty of intermissions so you got tons of entertainment for your nickel. But it’s the Naughties, baby. Now you get to sit through Frodo being carried by his man candy up the side of Mount Doom for 3 hours and 20 minutes. What is a movie goer with a small bladder and a 44-ounce Fresca to do?
The world of Run Pee will relieve you.
On their website, you can choose from the ever-growing list of currently-playing films and discover when it’s okay to “run pee.” Say you’re going to see Zombieland. Yeah, so it’s only 80 minutes of pure comedic zombification, but you have a bladder that was shrunk in 1989 with a ray gun invented by Wayne Szalinski during a 93-minute movie viewing. Eighty minutes is like 4 pee breaks. Thankfully, Run Pee has filtered the movie for you like a splatter guard in a urinal. According to their data, you have four times to run pee: 34, 41, 55 & 80 minutes into the Zombieland. Can’t remember that? They give you a piece of dialogue and/or scene in the movie which is your trigger to get up and run.
Here’s where having a mobile phone comes in handy. Download the iPhone App or go to their mobile site (App is $1.99 and site has a one-time $1 set-up fee.) When you’ve arrived at your pit stop, also whip out (sorry, ladies, the joke was too easy) your phone and read what sappy, should-have-been-on-the-editing-room-floor scene you’re missing.
“Uh,” you say preciously, “I can’t remember words and stuff. That’s why I have this iPhone.” Perfect! The App comes with a timer. Start it in sync with the movie and it will vibrate to remind you that it’s hunky-dory to go wee wee. Yes, it’s true!
In all honesty, I haven’t used it to go pee yet. Instead, it has turned me from credit-watching snob into a person free of Hollywood control. Run Pee will tell you if there is an extra scene(s) after the credits. In other words, it has given me back precious minutes which I now use to run home to get more World of Warcraft time. SQUEAL!
I love you, Run Pee.